Saturday, April 19, 2008
Managing Life Changes
By Dr Wong Yin Onn
It’s funny that in such a constantly-changing world that not more of us have naturally developed the aptitude to deal with it more effectively. Or has our love for consistency evolved as a defence against the reality of an ever-shifting world? Has our fear of change compelled us to construct schedules, routines, limits and borders? Is this an attempt to delay change?
Whatever the reason, it certainly seems odd that human beings are not more biologically-wired to deal with change. Sure, some of us seem to thrive on constant change, but most of us are undoubtedly more comfortable with consistency. For some of us, the fear of change can be downright crippling, so how can we learn to manage change more effectively?
Well, first it’s important to understand what our stress over change comes from. This stress essentially is our body telling our mind that there’s something we need to deal with that we have not experienced before, that we may need to adapt to, and that we may not be adequately prepared for. So what does this tell us?
Firstly, that we need to keep ourselves prepared for change. This means keeping our mind and body in optimum condition to deal with any adjustments. Which means eating right, keeping fit, and getting enough sleep. That takes care of our body; as for our mind, we need to maintain its resource level at a healthy high. This entails maintaining a store of knowledge, and regularly challenging our mind to think quickly and creatively. We can do this by reading widely, and by interacting with people whom we find intellectually-challenging.
We also need to develop some relaxation techniques that we can regularly balance our spirit with, and even use when confronting the change itself. You’ll have to find what works for you, but for most people, this simple trick seems to work - most of the time, when we’re stressed, our breathing inadvertently becomes faster and that actually stresses us even more.
So when in a stressful situation, try focusing on and slowing down your breathing. Imagine the progress of each breath as drawing one side of a square and make each line last four seconds. Inhale, 2, 3, 4, and exhale, 2, 3, 4... and repeat. You’ll find yourself becoming calmer. Other people swear by meditation, yoga, journaling, walking or listening to soothing music.
And when potentially faced with a stressful change, try to get a clearer picture of it. The more you understand something, the less frightening it usually becomes. This is how, over time, we become familiar with initially-strange surroundings as well.
And finally, ask yourself ‘What’s the worst that can happen, really?’ You’ll find that most of the time, the consequences aren’t that bad. They’re not something you can’t live down. Besides, with change comes other possibilities that will actually be pleasant or beneficial for you. Try focusing on those.
¶ 4/19/2008 02:24:00 am By Dr Wong Yin Onn
It’s funny that in such a constantly-changing world that not more of us have naturally developed the aptitude to deal with it more effectively. Or has our love for consistency evolved as a defence against the reality of an ever-shifting world? Has our fear of change compelled us to construct schedules, routines, limits and borders? Is this an attempt to delay change?
Whatever the reason, it certainly seems odd that human beings are not more biologically-wired to deal with change. Sure, some of us seem to thrive on constant change, but most of us are undoubtedly more comfortable with consistency. For some of us, the fear of change can be downright crippling, so how can we learn to manage change more effectively?
Well, first it’s important to understand what our stress over change comes from. This stress essentially is our body telling our mind that there’s something we need to deal with that we have not experienced before, that we may need to adapt to, and that we may not be adequately prepared for. So what does this tell us?
Firstly, that we need to keep ourselves prepared for change. This means keeping our mind and body in optimum condition to deal with any adjustments. Which means eating right, keeping fit, and getting enough sleep. That takes care of our body; as for our mind, we need to maintain its resource level at a healthy high. This entails maintaining a store of knowledge, and regularly challenging our mind to think quickly and creatively. We can do this by reading widely, and by interacting with people whom we find intellectually-challenging.
We also need to develop some relaxation techniques that we can regularly balance our spirit with, and even use when confronting the change itself. You’ll have to find what works for you, but for most people, this simple trick seems to work - most of the time, when we’re stressed, our breathing inadvertently becomes faster and that actually stresses us even more.
So when in a stressful situation, try focusing on and slowing down your breathing. Imagine the progress of each breath as drawing one side of a square and make each line last four seconds. Inhale, 2, 3, 4, and exhale, 2, 3, 4... and repeat. You’ll find yourself becoming calmer. Other people swear by meditation, yoga, journaling, walking or listening to soothing music.
And when potentially faced with a stressful change, try to get a clearer picture of it. The more you understand something, the less frightening it usually becomes. This is how, over time, we become familiar with initially-strange surroundings as well.
And finally, ask yourself ‘What’s the worst that can happen, really?’ You’ll find that most of the time, the consequences aren’t that bad. They’re not something you can’t live down. Besides, with change comes other possibilities that will actually be pleasant or beneficial for you. Try focusing on those.
