Sinfonia da Vita, Op. 1
Saturday, February 28, 2004
 
How fast my mood can swing. Yesterday during Mardi Gras I was at the top of the world. The rehearsals for the musical today totally changed my mood.

The cast are doing fine, they’ve learnt their songs and are almost there. What pisses everybody off is that Mr CET has not been dedicating himself to this performance; so far he only came on Wednesday and didn’t perform well during that session. Today he’s cooked up some excuse not to come, and we are all very angry. He’s the main character, he has so many songs to sing, and he commits himself from zero to fifty per cent. The whole musical will collapse without him, and I do not think it is fair that he should volunteer himself to the project and not be committed and make others wait on him. Everyone joins the musical on a voluntary basis and on commitment. No one is enslaved to the project. I don’t understand how he, a relief teacher can be so absolutely busy, especially since he’s teaching only one class. There’s always some stupid excuse which we can tell that are created from his lack of commitment to the project. We are desperate for an understudy in case CET tries to be funny in any sense.

For the strings rehearsal, we go on to the other pieces, but the attempts haven’t been very rosy. The whole session was very messy, although we finished all the songs in the musical already, and we can soon go on to the incidental music. However, I am very worried for the cellos. They are not used to playing the sort of the music I write for that instrument, because in the CO the cello usually plays a bass role. In my case the cellos are an integral part, taking counterpoints and melodies. I am very willing to simplify the scores, but I do not wish to simplify to the extent that it cheapens the whole work and that they end up playing sustained notes for an hour or so. It makes me feel very bad. I haven’t been feeling good, even up till now; I thought of one-to-one sessions with the cellos themselves, away from the Saturday sessions I do with the Chamber people. At least I can clear problems with rhythm and pitch. I think my cellists will be less pressured just practising between the two of them alone, without the rest of the strings.

At last this coming Wednesday will be the first, fully-combined orchestral rehearsal. With Mardi Gras finally over all the musicians should be able to attend, except those who have some music lessons elsewhere (which I don’t want them to change because those should be their priority). I’m praying all will attend, because I cannot afford to loose any more people. And I hope they won’t loose their scores or anything, because I’m really sick and tired to printing scores already… I’ve already busted two ink cartridges and my father has threatened not to buy anymore.

With the release of the A-level results looming ahead, I can only expect the worse. I wish people would stop saying, “You can do it, no problem…” It only makes me feel even more like drowning myself.
 
 
PART II… after watching the 6:30 news on Channel U:

Just saw on the news just now: the fucking authorities have decided to scrap Mother Tongue and the SAT as a prerequisite for entry into university. And now universities have a greater choice in selecting those they wish to take in, based on other aspects despite academics, of which have been the obsessions of many institutions over the years.

So now one only needs a pass in Mother Tongue. And SAT scores are not required, because the College Board in the US is going to revamp the whole thing. And the fact that universities choose applicants based on the activities they have done… hmm, that raises some suspicion. What if it comes in for abuse? I mean, professors could help their children admit themselves much more easily, one might never know. And we’d churn out a cream (pardon the pun) of bootlickers from the JC who know how to suck the arses of their future “masters” – those going to help them towards their aspirations. Don’t get me wrong that I’m against this system, in fact I welcome it as it will create a well-rounded group of young Singapore students who will not be only academically-grounded and who forget other aspects of life. In fact I think it teaches the muggers a lesson: STOP MUGGING ALL DAY LONG AND GET A LIFE!

And the Singapore education system has screwed itself in the hole again. Why do we learn history anyway? Some things just never change. The other one who screwed up earlier was the LTA who regretted tendering the NEL to SBS Transit. Singapore is just too small to have more than one railway operator. Now the MOE cannot make up its mind to how they should drive their policies. Who suffers? The students, of course. It’s just releasing a huge amount of water through a dam at high intensity such that the dam breaks. Oh MOE, oh MOE, how many more students do you want to kill?
 
Friday, February 27, 2004
 
Mardi Gras day. The first Pipiland outing since… okay, the Chancellor’s birthday, but then again, not all the Pipilanders are present all the time… it’s very sad that we aren’t able to go out in full force.

Twenty minutes to eight, I’m under the darkened LT2, waiting for our turn to perform. Even though I’m very prepared for this; I’ve always been very casual during the past three stage rehearsals, but then I’m having butterflies in my stomach. I just cannot explain it. I’m quite well-prepared, the crowd doesn’t unfazed me because I’ve mentally trained myself to stare at the keyboard and never at the audience, but still, I’m very restless.

Si Ying has been worried about the sound system, because it is not the one we had been using for the past three rehearsals. The current one has been rented from some external company, and we’re worried about not being used to them. Si Ying says she can’t hear anything. I guess it’s probably because of the way the speakers are positioned, because none are facing the direction we are standing, so the sound goes away.

Eight and we’re on. The first song is “Journey to the Past”. However, as I play, I realise the audience getting noisier… they were TALKING. Fine if they’re not listening, but they are so goddamn noisy I can’t even hear what I’m playing! Not to mention, I can’t even hear Si Ying’s voice. Anyway we’ve trained ourselves such that whatever interference happens, we’ll keep going on – or at least I keep moving so that she can follow me (because she has the monitor in front of her while I can only rely on myself and the speakers that are facing the audience).

Anyway the performance was a success. We just gave the audience all we had.

At nine we go to the rock wall to listen to the combo band play the arrangements I did for them. “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” was played okay; with Derrick at the drum set I could set my mind at ease. They played at a very nice tempo without going faster and faster as they had usually done in the past. However, I suspected they changed the instrumentation, because the changes I approved during the practice were not there.

“Where is the Love” started out fine, but when it came to the chorus it was horribly sung out of tune. Schubie later told me that he had been asked to sing the chorus. I’ve got nothing against him singing, but why did they change the instrumentation again? Apparently Yi Jie, the rapper couldn’t sing high enough at the key of E-flat, so Schubie became the back-up singer. Sometimes, being an arranger is not that rosy; your writing does not get respected all the time, and is subjected to the whims and fancies of those playing for you. Nothing wrong with that, only that they never asked my approval first, which irks me.

“Stand by Me” and “That Thing You Do” was pretty good. Schubie played the solo saxophone part in the interlude very beautifully; that melted my heart. When Chuxian, the second saxophonist, joined in harmony with Schubie’s part… I just felt I was in heaven! Thanks to both of you for playing it so beautifully! I think it was the best ever of all four pieces.

* * *

That night, at McDonald’s, the radio station, for some reason, decided to play the audition tape of William Hung doing his rendition of “She Bangs” on air. I listened carefully to it: the opening verse was quite okay; I thought nothing of it.

Then the fun starts.

The chorus arrives: “She bangs! She bangs!”

I can’t stop guffawing with laughter. It’s really damn, damn funny, like a comedy show gone wrong. The high-pitched voice and the wrong intonations… I’m very sorry but I can’t help laughing at it. It’s too deliciously grotesque already…

Or perhaps I was in a very good mood today? I experienced something magical… something that I will never forget for the rest of my life… I shall not say it… go and torture me to find it out.
 
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
 
Correttamente

I think I’m very addicted to coffee, especially black coffee. This morning I woke up and found none in the coffeemaker’s jug. I was decided to make Jasmine Tea or coffee – of course I settled for the latter out of an uncontrollable temptation. Don’t expect me to go through all the trouble to use the coffeemaker – it’s just as troublesome as the manual method because you have to prepare the coffee powder and the sugar. The easiest is a packet of two-in-one coffee – just open the packet, pour the contents into a cup, add water, stir and voila, it’s rather to be drunk.

I patch up on the Cats Medley while enjoying my drink – I can’t believe I finished the whole 300 something bar work in like three days. At the last moment I give it a proper title: “A Night of the Cats: the Cats Medley” rather than “Cats Medley” which sounds obscene. It begins with the majestic ending of the Overture. After a short pause it jumps into “Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats”. It ends as abruptly as in the actual song, prior to Asparagus singing: “There’s a man over there”, and suddenly the audience is plunged into the mysterious world of Old Deutronomy. The still mood is broken by a rhapsodic rendition of “Gus the Theatre Cat”. “Gus” is almost a mini-violin concerto, with a solo violin accompanied by the rest of the string ensemble. Next number is “McCavity the Mystery Cat”, with its snazzy jazzy rhythms. The showstopper “Memory” comes next – there’s a lot of high emotion with soaring strings and huge piano chords. Upon the transition “The Journey to the Heavyside Layer” the music winds up with the chorale “Ad-dressing of the Cats”. The whole work lasts about 15 to 20 minutes. Hope it’s going to be played by the Chamber Ensemble for their concert, as they’re doing a Broadway-based concert this year.

When I popped by the MS in the afternoon, I thought, jeez, where did everybody go? All the lights were shut out. I opened the door, then suddenly from the darkness: “Hi Gong…” It was Dvorak, catching forty winks Yuan Ling was resting behind the pianos, at the area of the personalised study desks of the MEPers. It is disheartening to see people in this state, having to improvise sleeping methods to rest their tired souls in school. College hours are extremely long, and I really mean very, very long. Compare to an executive’s office lifestyle, that of a college student is much worse. Office workers arrive at the office at nine and normally leave by five. College students arrive at seven and don’t go home until five-thirty on some days. With PDPs they finish around seven or eight, the latter when there’s some important competition, tournament or concert coming up. In between their free periods they try to catch up on their schoolwork, or study for tests. You could say we’re the tamer versions of the cramp schools in Taiwan and South Korea. No wonder Talking Cock lists, as one of the reasons for Singaporeans not having sex or children: “No one would be a sadist to let the Singapore education system MOULD THE FUTURE of our children”, to quote the slogan of the Ministry of Education.

I didn’t know that there would be a full-dress rehearsal for Mardi Gras this evening. I hadn’t attended the previous briefing because I was much too worried for my orchestra to do anything else. Anyway, heck about the clothes… this is a music performance, not a fashion parade, so why would anybody bother about what I wear? I’d be hiding behind the Clavi anyway.

Miss Chew commented on the “Mo Li Hua” version for string quartet. Only then I realised I had been blindly writing in ordinary, and Oriental, harmonies and melodies – that detracts from the original intentions of the piece. Since there’s time before I meet Si Ying for a run-through, I decide to re-compose the score. I just couldn’t write. I think I shall go for a jog on Thursday to set my mind straight. Remember that composition is still part-inspiration, and a larger part hard work. I need the inspiration now.

The orchestra rehearsal goes smoothly tonight. I’m very happy. We practised at the scope today, where there’s more privacy than at the canteen where everyone seems so distant, even when sitting close together. However, we’ve only finished three songs, but at least the turnout was much better than last week.

Went home and listened to “Girl from Bedok South” again. Suddenly it’s so nice; everyone’s commenting well on it.
 
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
 
Disturbato

Christ, I haven’t been blogging for almost a month… it’s time to release all the feelings that I have been penting up since the last post… I’ve been too busy writing the musical score to even do anything.

This morning I shot off an arrangement of the Beatles’ “Yesterday” for Kenny’s MDC a cappella group, consisting of two tenors, two baritones and two basses. I wrote at very high speed, and finished it in about three and a half hours, including the dynamics and articulation. Thank god I have the complete (ensemble) scores of the Beatles’ songs – as they are played in the recordings. Early this morning (about 1am) I listened to my father’s Beatles’ CD and followed the score as the songs progressed. I’m beginning to admire their music – every piece has its own twist and turn. Even the orchestration is so unique. There’s beautiful writing for the brass in “Penny Lane” and “Yellow Submarine”. The only thing that irked me was “Hey Jude” because the “Da, da, da” part went on for five minutes and became too tedious.

The lyrics of their songs are just plain simple. Amazing how they write great poems, some that tell a story, like Eleanor Rigby, Yellow Submarine and Penny Lane. Thank goodness, I have had enough of “I love you, you love me” sort of songs, and this is a fresh perspective that awoken me even in the ungodly hours of the day.

With due respect, I arranged “Yesterday” as the lyrics showed it – forceful, mournful, regretful, self-bitterness. I really hope it works – my first time writing for purely-voice. The musical has only given me the experience of writing for voice with instruments, which I shower more attention on the orchestration.
 
Monday, February 23, 2004
 
Solido Orario

Went for a jog with father in the morning. I need a break and a stress-reliever, and I need time out to straighten my thoughts after days of non-stop composing and arranging. I jog from the McDonalds until the small bridge just beside the soccer field opposite Bayshore Park and back again, in total about 7km. Father jogged further, from the same place till just before the old Sailing Centre building – in total, 10.5km. He was totally exhausted by the time he returned.

I started work on the Cats Medley for String Ensemble. The TJC Chamber Ensemble is doing a Broadway themed concert this year; I thought of arranging some musical numbers for different variants of strings. Some of the stuff I’ve planned:

_“I’ve Got More Rhythm” – based on “I’ve Got Rhythm” for String Quartet and an assortment of Percussion instruments (typical and untypical ones)

_Numbers from “My Fair Lady” for String Quartet

_Cats Medley for combined String Ensemble and Piano and Drum Set

_Amigos Para Siempre for the same instrumentation

_Grease Medley for the same instrumentation

Dvorak is currently working on a medley for Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables. I think the ensemble already has scores for “Oklahoma” and the “Sound of Music” and possibly “The King and I” and “New York, New York” (for string quartet, which I’ve heard them play before).

Spent the entire night printing scores for “Red-Threaded Hearts” and only went to bed at 4am, Monday morning. This proves that yes, exercise makes me last longer and work harder throughout the day.
 
Friday, February 20, 2004
 
TODAY: LETTERS
MARCH 15, 2994

“FACE IT, NOT AVOID IT”

I refer to Mr William Lee’s letter, “Ban monkey bars to prevent injuries” (TODAY, March 12).

My daughter fractured her wrist some years ago while playing on a set of monkey bars.

After she recovered, I encouraged her to continue playing them – under my guidance and supervision – as I felt it was a good way for her to develop agility. …

…I urge parents such as Mr Lee to encourage and support their children, instead of denying them the joy of sporting activities, even if the children have suffered injuries on the playground.

Given this encouragement, children will develop the resiliency to overcome challenges in later years. In the absence of such support, children may instead make a habit of avoiding risks and failure owing to their parents’ fear of what they consider “dangerous child’s play”.

ROLAND ANG

* * *

STREATS: VOCAL
FEBRUARY 20, 2004

“LIGHTEN UP, IT’S JUST A SHOW”

After reading the letter “Act against breast-baring at MTV Asia event” (Streats, Feb 18) by Ms Nancy Tan, I cannot understand why some of us still fuss over the act by Ms Suzanne Walker.

I do not see anything offensive with her act, which was quite appropriate on such an occasion, especially at an entertainment event like MTV Asia. It was part of showmanship, after all.

If we are to take action against Suzanne for her act, then what about those girls who dres to show their navels, buttocks and other revealing parts of the body?

It is time we keep up with the times.

JEFFERY LAW LEE BENG

STREATS: VOCAL
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2004

If, say, there were a couple where the man was like Mr Lee, and the woman like Miss Tan, I PITY the child.

Either this child will be frustrated with being kept a parents’ boy and wish to break free from the bonds of his overprotective parents, or he will just live in comfort all day long and when it is time for him to go into the world, he breaks down and cries for his mama.

That is how you have people who never stray from the rat race – they hate their lifestyle but they don’t want to admit it because they will then loose their comfort; people who don’t dare to take risks because they see failure as a humiliation that is worth hara-kiri.

* * *

With regards to Mr Law’s letter:

There is a story that the Abbot told Chu Chu in the period drama “Love is Beautiful”

An old monk and his disciple were travelling to the west to obtain Buddhist scriptures. Along the way, they came across a swollen river whose only bridge had been washed away by the storm. A lady was standing along its banks, wondering how to get across. The old monk offered to carry her on his back and they waded across the shallow river. Once safely across, the old monk put the lady down and resumed the journey.

The disciple, however, was unhappy with the incident. Day and night he kept thinking about it. Finally, he couldn’t tolerate it anymore and decided to speak up to the old monk: “Teacher, something has been bugging me for months. You said that as monks we are not allowed to make contact with the opposite sex. Why is it that you made contact with that woman?”

The old monk laughed heartily and replied: “As soon as I reached the opposite side of the river I put her down, and thereafter I forgot about the incident. However, you have been thinking about it for three whole months!”

The moral of the story is “To live and let live.” Let us not grouse on any particular unhappy incident for the rest of our lives. To Miss Tan: did the small incident offend her so much that she makes a hullabaloo out of it in the newspapers? What about the time Janet Jackson bared her breasts? It was only a mistake. In this case it is for the sake of showbiz. Can’t she see, blush, and try to forget that she had seen something offensive? Like what Randy Jackson commented after the “Nipplegate” incident: “Why such a big fuss over a boob?” Are we suppose to accuse people who, by pure accident, forget to zip their pants, of not cultivating values of what is acceptable behaviour in public and what is not?

Such attitudes reflect badly on our society. These people are probably the kind who do not accept mistakes or failure. They are the ones who will make sure that those who are defeated will never climb back up again. Because they will keep bitching about it in the press, on the Internet, over the phone, anyway and everywhere! This kind of people will hurt our country in the future, because they are unwilling to look further and keep up with the times

* * *

A new addition to my ongoing compilation of “Terok Pura”

“PEDESTRIANS CONFUSED BY TRAFFIC SYSTEM”

I refer to the Land Transport Authority reply, “Pedestrian crossing lights respond to conditions” (Streats, Feb 18) by Mr Han Liang Yuan.

I think Mr Han missed the point altogether. The current situation is that if the pedestrian button is not pressed, the green man will not light up even when vehicles stop at junctions. This causes confusion among pedestrians, especially the young children, older people and foreigners, who would be wondering whether to cross or not.

Moreover, many people are not aware that we have to press the button for the green man; most of them assume that it is automatic.

I have personally witnessed at least three near-accidents caused by this confusing traffic system, and would implore the LTA to look into the matter.

JOHN TAN

One comment: DAMN TEROK.
 
Monday, February 09, 2004
 
Pesante

I’m nearly reaching the end of the stage where I get sheltered by society – or at least my parents and the various ministries that take a quick interest in people because, anyway, humans are our only resources, hence the need for Human Resource departments in every company.

Now I’m about to be thrown to the demon. At least if I stay in Singapore. The government can’t blame us for being quitters if we want to. If there are greener pastures out there, why stay back in Singapore and try to create a green patch? We can be patriotic to a certain extent, but if our patriotism is to compromise on our living, what’s the worth? Even if there are opportunities in Laos or Afghanistan or Africa why not just go than stay here and play the waiting game?

We are controlled by the Dark Force that looms over us from the day we were born. At least in Singapore. Being a Singapore baby means “welcome to hell”. Yes, parents get the benefits, like the baby bonus, but what is it to the child? He’s going through a labyrinth and god knows if he’s going to meet the Minotaur. As in the myth, there’s no string to bring him back to safety. And the Minotaur is invincible. He can’t get out of the maze in any way.

That’s the route every Singaporean student takes. Either they walk past the beast, or they get chomped down. Those who make it go to the next level and they face the same thing again, only much fiercer and stronger. If they quit they’d probably relieve themselves, but face intense pressure from the Game Master who’s angry that they didn’t finish the game to the end. The end of the game is marked by an appearance of the Mount Vernon Crematorium or the Chua Chu Kang cemetery.

Our society has a very bad habit of branding people – i.e. in the case of the labyrinth, eating people up. We swallow and digest people – because people who get eaten – or those who fail – are “shit” and they come out as shit itself. There are two paths, which are very commonly stereotyped (digressions not included). No offence to anyone, but this is really how many Singaporeans think:

PATH A
Streaming  EM 1  SAP, autonomous school (at least a darn good Secondary School – usually one whose name does not even include “Secondary School” but some chim word like “Institution”, “High School”, “Boys’/Girls’ School”)  Top 5 Junior College (usually Top 4 – the fifth is like “for those who cannot make it to the top)  Prestigious scholarship (government-based, with bonds – but powerful ministries, not small measly ones)  Ivy League University  Top-paying job  Happy family  5Cs  (optional) meet them on Shenton Way and they snob and sneer at you

PATH B
Streaming  EM 3  Normal (Academic/Tech)  ITE  Polytechnic  Work
*Can be successful but in early life looked down upon by most people.

The following are subjects that are either revered or frowned upon. They’re not in order of strength:

REVERED
Economics
Law
Business/Accountancy/Management
Engineering – includes all the various types of engineering
Medicine
Bioengineering
Mathematics
Physics
Chemistry
Journalism
Computer science

FROWNED
History
Literature/Language
Music
Visual arts
Theatre
Dance

*Geography lies somewhere in-between

As one can tell from the Junior College intakes: the arts – and I mean pure arts – are often outnumbered at least three to four times to the science classes. Often curious adults (not the parents in any sense) often think about the art student in the following ways:

1. Why do you choose Arts courses? (I.e. you mad is it?)
2. You cannot make it into Science course (I.e. you’re not good enough)
3. What are you going to do in future? (I.e. you want to spend your whole life teaching is it? Arts cannot make money, cannot feed family one)

When I hear such statements it really pisses me off. Can’t we ever have a choice to do what we like? We only go to the arts because we like doing those subjects! We will not force ourselves into something that offers prestige and more security for our future but we suffer and moan and complain every time we go for a lecture or tutorial. And furthermore there’s nothing to look down upon in the arts either. One develops skills that Science people might not acquire. I’m not boasting but really, for those alien to the arts courses, teaching methods are very different from those of science. We are given avenues of exploration, and constantly encouraged to provide our own opinions and develop our own arguments to substantiate the point we make about something. Because whatever we study is constantly disputable – there is no right or wrong answer. Even for history: it’s not about regurgitation as people would commonly do in Secondary Two – it’s all the curriculum planners’ faults for all the stereotyping. Rather, we try to form ideas on how change and continuity takes place; who is at fault for major human disasters; who is in the right and who is in the wrong. We develop acute human-relation skills – we are able to study other people and deduce an opinion about them. And we would be more sensitive to feelings, judging from other’s method of speech and facial expression. It’s the kind of beauty that is often underappreciated.

Singaporeans must be one of the best stereotypers in the world. They’re quick to point fingers and seldom change their opinion about something. Say someone goes to jail. Quickly people say, “He/she’s bad.” Even if the person turns over a new leaf, it’s still “He/she’s bad”. Similarly, students are also branded in the same way. One who constantly scores A grades tend to looked upon – and bootlicked by his peers and the government. Those that don’t are tossed aside and ignored. Still the A graders get their taste of pressure as well. They are expected to perform and keep standards. Otherwise they’ll be tossed aside and ignored too. An eye for an eye.

Besides the competition, there’s the crazy syllabus that’s constantly changing, as if the curriculum planners did some bad miscalculation and always overlooked one thing or the other. Yes, thank you, there’s the phrase “keep up with time”, but with the syllabus constantly changing every few years or so within the span of a decade, the poor teachers and students are fighting to keep up. For God’s sake spare some thought for them. The pace is such that as soon as a teacher gets the hang of one topic, he or she realises that they have to throw away whatever they have learnt and gear up for the new one. And students are having their brains fattened from a very early age. Whatever my generation learnt in the late primary school years, the young kids are already bombarded with these from the day they sign in to official school life in Primary One. Who knows, the next time the government will pass a law decreeing that kindergarten is compulsory. And they will change “Play schools” into “Prep schools”, or even better, “Mini Cramp Schools”.

Lastly, very sadly we only tend of think of results. In fact the whole idea of education is to prepare for a better and secure life, and to achieve that you must be academically well-off before you can be financially well-off. Even if you’re the worst slut or bastard but you’ve got terrific A’s for all your exams, you are guaranteed for success. I think that moral education has been forgotten in the race for the results. There are people I have seen in college who use backhand tactics and will not stop at anything until they get their desires. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Chinese Foreign Minister takes another swipe at Singaporeans.

To round it off, perhaps there should be an international survey on the happiness of people. But Singaporeans would definitely lie, and their ratings false, because the top gainers would obviously tell the surveyors that yes, I’m very happy with my life in Singapore because I MADE IT. And the others who didn’t would probably keep quiet because if they spoke the truth, the government might label them as potential quitters.
 
DISCLAIMER: I blog on MS Word - and I frequently backlog because I don't have the time to write everything on the same day, so please ignore the TIME of post.

Name:
Location: Singapore

Joker who spends his free time milling around NUS pretending to be a student...

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sibelius_2's More Than Words, Op. 3
Gerald/Proko's Blog
Emz/Dvorak's Blog
Composer Emily Koh's Music Website