Sinfonia da Vita, Op. 1
Friday, March 07, 2008
 

From a Facebook Group ‘SAF Eyepower Division’:



Chao geng. Eye power. No action; talk only.
Minimum efforts, maximum results.
"We live to see."



Why waste 2 freaking years of your life to chiong sua when you can slack it off?
Tired of the bureaucracy that surrounds every damn unit?
Super sian of the weird and senseless rules?
Sick of the "simi lan jiao?" moments?

KENG LOH!

Do you remember your days of eye powering while the rest of your platoon mates were at work?

Standing around and pretending to give instructions while the rest of your section mates were erecting the tentage?

Were most of your NS days spent queuing up to see the medical officer?

Did you spend most of the training curriculum inside the training shed sitting in your PT kit?

Only singing or pretending to sing only when your sergeant is around?

Suddenly develop a case of Hoplophobia - "morbid fear of guns" when range training is here?

Pretending to let your platoon mates go first during meals, so you can have a larger portion of the leftovers? Cookhouse aunties are usually more generous with helpings at the end.

Paying a blanga to dig your fire-trench/shell-scrape during reservist ICT training?

Ever made up any kind of irrational phobias to smoke your sergeants?

The only exercise you did was walking the distance to the cookhouse or medical centre from your bunk.

You can shrug off cries of "chao keng" from your platoon mates without any tinge of guilt or remorse.

You enjoy discussing new ways to malinger with your fellow kengsters.

You feign a leg sprain/muscle tear/hamstring strain but amazingly you still manage to finish a 90mins game for your team's Sunday Soccer League.

You suddenly develop an irrational fear to suit whatever circumstances.

Amathophobia - Fear of dust.
Phallophobia - Fear of a penis, esp during erection.
Ancraophobia - Fear of wind. (Anemophobia)
Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions.
Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Botanophobia - Fear of plants.
Phronemophobia - Fear of thinking.

Have you ever been...
1) Excused from running, marching and jumping for a period of more than 10 days?
2) Excused from uniform for "extended periods of time"?
3) Excused from the environment - sunlight, moonlight ?
4) Excused from the elements of - earth, wind and water?
5) All of the above.
6) All of the above + (insert more)


SAF Eyepower Division 7 Cock Values
1) Keng as much as i can.
2) Practice "Tai Chi" whenever i can.
3) Wayang as much as possible.
4) Act blur until that's worthy of an Oscar.
5) Everything also must take the short cut.
6) Keep my smoke grenades close.
7) Employ evasive tactics after testing the system.

Are you able to detect sai kang within 100 yards?
Do you recall yourself smoking out at every opportunity?
If yes, this is the place for all fellow smokers!


Notes on some of the terms used:
+ Chiong sua: to go on military maneuvers out in the field
+ Keng: skive
+ Chao Keng: an adjective expressing disgust at people who deliberately skive (usually through some medical causes as an excuse for not being able to participate in army training)
+ Fire trench: a huge hole where soldiers can hide in to attack enemies or protect themselves from enemy fire.
+ Shell-scrape: a hole that each soldier has to dig for himself for protection in combat areas.
+ Sai Kang: menial tasks that befall almost every army personnel - tasks that are usually seen as tedious yet unnecessary.

 
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