Why I have issues
With people who book tables with tissue


With a bag on the seat
It means you’ll be back to eat

With a tissue on the table
Did you going away for good and forget
Or did you want to ditch that packet of paper

Or did you mean to book the table while you go to buy food?

‘Cause when that happens it causes a racket.
‘Twas an unspoken rule that
Tissue on the table means you’re not allowed to sit there
But I didn’t know there was such a rule
And I only made the owner of the tissue brew

Opium can cause wars, so can tissue paper
Make yourself clear about your intentions
Don’t try to deny it.
Don’t hide it.
We know you want to book that table.

(And if you’re an educated kid at NUS you should know better*)


*The writer specifically mentions NUS students because he and his friend have sighted instances of tissue-paper-reservations at the Arts canteen