I meet SY and Elle (Michelle Teo) for dinner today. Elle and I are starting school soon, so SY is going to tell us more about the NUS modular and bidding system. I am carrying my laptop so that we can access Internet from whichever eatery we are at and visit the respective websites for an idea what they look like.

I’m meeting SY at 7:15pm at City Hall MRT (Elle's going there straight by bus), so I leave the house at 7. Walking to the station I realise my bag is unusually light. Something is not there. I check, and I discover I haven’t taken the power adaptor along! I think the battery's not going to last – I have no idea how long we are going to use the computer, but anyway it's better to carry the adaptor along JUST IN CASE.

So I turn back for home, a short walk away from my station, to pick up the adaptor.

I board the train.

Two stops away, I’m thinking something is still amiss.

The battery . . . the battery . . .

I check my laptop.

!!! THE BATTERY!!!

There is a gap where the battery should be. I normally take the battery out after charging it at home in order to prolong its life. Normally I remember to put it back before I leave the house. Today I forget . . .

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES.

I have to get out of the train and take another back home.

I finally arrive at the City Hall Station half an hour later and SY is laughing at me.

* * *

We meet Elle at Millennia Walk and settle for this eatery called Uberburger.

If it’s anything it’s the menus. They are so IRRITATING to read. No pictures (fine) but the way the price is described is outrageous. And inconsistent.

In the first instance, $4.80 (as an example) is written as "four $ 80". It takes some while to figure out the code – fortunately not as complicated and abstract as the Fibonacci sequence.

In another instance, it states "9fifty $". So does it mean $950 or $9.50? Common sense will tell you it’s the latter, but you can't be too sure because such establishments (especially those that are not local) may have tricks up their sleeves.

Sorry if I'm being anal here, because the menu is really PISSING. One thing to say: TRYING TO BE SMART. But it backfires. We want simple menus where we can read and understand the text – especially the price – clearly. We don’t want such a case when the bill arrives: "Hey, I thought it was this price–"

Sorry lah. As they say in the army, "You thought then who think?"

The waiter will probably say, "Sorry sir, it’s written there in the menu." Then he will probably point to the print to make his point that you misunderstood what the establishment has been trying to sell you.

A TIP IF YOU ARE A FIRST-TIMER THERE: never underestimate the portions because they are freaking huge. Don’t be fooled by the notion of "one handful of fries" because it comes in a bucket and it's probably Hagrid’s kind of handful (or slightly more).

* * *

When I go out to eat I don't like to be bothered by those sort of high-class etiquette stuff. But I have to now. I presume the waiters are giving me queer looks from the colloquial way I order my food: "What the hell is this heartlander doing in such an establishment?"

I admit I'm quite a local at heart, despite differences such as taking an uncommon (and likely condemned by Singaporeans) career path, and not living in the HDB heartlands proper. I like to drink kopi-o – not much difference from Espresso. But I get put off when I go to a coffee joint like Starbucks or Coffee Club and I have to figure out the difference between a latte and a cappuccino. Sometimes I just feel like going up to the cashier and telling him/her: "Give me a cup of coffee, thanks. Black coffee."

No fine-dining for me, thanks!