I'm surprised I don't really have to audition for the Soracco Musical Group. Dr Malcolm asks me for my background and experience . . . I rattle everything off to him, and before I know it, I've clinched the job as keyboardist.

My first task: to accompany those who have come to audition. I spend the next three hours or so playing dozens of songs - the most-played (and slightly-overplayed) being the Carpenter's "Top of the World". For the people come in without any songs in mind, and so the auditors - Malcolm and Miss Lim - suggest, "How about 'Top of the World'?" And there I go again. I must have played it in a multitude of keys, from C to F to B-flat to B to . . .

At the end of the session, I find out that the musical has not been born, contrary to what the notice my father gave me said. Initially I thought that I would come in, audition, get the score and go home and practice. Apparently there's no music to...