Statuses that MSN ought to include in their next version of Messenger:

· Out to Breakfast

· Out to Morning Tea

· Out to Afternoon Tea

· Out to Dinner

· Out to Supper

· Out to Coffee

· Doing Homework

· At Work

· In the Toilet

· In the Shower

· Sleeping

· Napping

· Got called to Bosses’ Office

· Going to Log Off Soon

· Doing Housework

· Feeding the Cat/Dog/whatever animal

· In Lecture

· In School

· Slacking

· Eating

· Talk to Me

The “REAL” story of Christopher Columbus

Christopher Columbus founded America, didn’t he?

Yeah he did. He stepped foot on the New Land. He saw natives on that land and called them ‘Indians’.

Nothing wrong, right (oxymoron unintended)? They ARE called ‘Red Indians’ anyway. But how – or why on (that part of the) earth – were they called ‘Indians’?

The truth is, Christopher Columbus set out in search of India, but he went THE OTHER WAY ROUND to the Americas instead. “Land-ho!” and he thought “My, we’re in India! Hooray!” So naturally when he sees those people he thinks, “Wow, Indians!”

And that’s how they became known as ‘Red Indians’.

In any case Vasco de Gama too left Portugal for India much after dear Chris did, but went the correct way and touched down on India proper.

But guess what? He got there because he picked up a Gujerati pilot (one who controls the direction the ship travels, planes were not invented then!) who provided the directions. Thanks to him, didn’t end up in Holland (for non-Singlish speakers, Holland actually stands for ‘Hor-lan’, which means ‘to get lost’)

So you can see what travellers Asians used to be at that time; they already know the sea passages!

* * *

*For interest only, nothing against our Eurasian and Caucasian friends!*

How did the term ‘ang moh’ come about?

Historically the Chinese have used this towards the Europeans. It actually means ‘red-haired barbarians’ – the Chinese then were very arrogant and looked down on the Europeans, belittling and undermining their power. Little did they know that the Europeans would soon rise and (literally) overtake them.

Now, for ‘chao’ (smelly) in front of that term, I have no idea where it comes from, but apparently Singaporeans like to have ‘chao’ in front of almost everything they don’t put in their eyes, such as ‘chao recruit’ and ‘chao ah kua’, just to name a few (they’re probably more out there, consult the Coxford Singlish Dictionary, the authority on Singlish!

Some interesting stuff from today’s English language lecture:

--- 1 ---

All languages are EQUAL. Ultimately you want to express the same meaning, no matter what way you put it – all languages have the power to do that. Look at the example below about drinking tea:

ENGLISH

The Mandarin one doesn’t sound right in a direct English translation right? But who cares! You’re still being asked if you want to drink tea!

Similarly, the Mandarin one wouldn’t sound right if you phrased it in the grammatical order usually taken by the English language.

ENGLISH
Do you drink tea?

--- 2---

Suspend the belief that the English language is pure! English is derived from both the Germanic and Romantic/Latin family

Some examples:

Romantic / Germanic

Some of the words that seem more “flowery” are used by certain groups of people, for example the French and the Italians. This is not due to the fact that the command of their English vocabulary is “better” that others, but by the fact that French and Italian also belong to the Romantic/Latin family, hence it is more natural for them to speak this way. Likewise, speakers of languages belonging to the Germanic tradition are likely to feel more comfortable using the words in the Germanic tradition.


--- 3 ---

One computer mouse, two …?

One Walkman, two …?

Today I baby-sit, yesterday I …?

(Not from the lecture) Today I shit, yesterday I…?

--- 4 ---

Our lecturer Dr Madelena told us this story.

The British like to use the term “hear-hear” to acknowledge their agreement, so you can hear the Members of Parliament uttering this in the House.

Now, a reporter from the BBC – according to Dr Madelena, is supposed to produce the “best” example of spoken English in the world – covering the event said over the radio: “… and the proposal was hear-heared…”

Past tense of “hear” is “heard”... so right or wrong, or is there no right no wrong?

--- 5 ---

From our English Language module textbook

(Cruz-Fereira, Madelena; Abraham, Sunita. The Language of Language: Core Concepts in Linguistic Analysis, Second Edition. Singapore: Prentice Hall, Pearson Education South Asia Pte Ltd, 2006)

ENGLISH
Camel

SOMALI
Aaran: young camel no longer sucklings
Abeer/Ameer: female camel not yet given birth
Awr: male pack camel
Baarfuran: female camel not used as a pack camel
Dhaan: camel loaded with water vessels

… and some 41 other words to describe other types of camels

--- 6---

Variations on a theme of ENGLISH

In Australia… “Wanna have a Barbie?” (By the way, a ‘barbie’ means ‘barbecue’)

In America… “I ain’t gonna do nothing.” (You might probably think it should sound, ‘I’m not going to do anything.’)

In Singapore… ooo lots of examples…

“Today don’t have, next time have.” (When you might think that the appropriate way is ‘We have run out of stock today, it’ll probably arrive…’)

“Chicken cannot eat already”
(1) The chicken has turned bad, or something has caused the chicken to become too dangerous to be eaten (e.g. bird flu?) therefore we should not eat it
(2) The (live) chicken has had its fill, therefore it cannot continue eating

“So you like it in Singapore, is it?”
Gahmen probably asks you to say:
(1) ‘Do you like Singapore?’
(2) ‘Which aspect of Singapore do you like?’
(3) ‘Was your stay in Singapore enjoyable?’
(4) ‘How do you find it here (in Singapore)?’
And et cetera, et cetera…

--- 7 ---

Languages must be appropriately used – be warned… never mix formal with the informal…

“Ladies and gentlemen, the President will now address the meeting. So shut up.”

“My hubby was deceased.”

“My spouse recently kicked the bucket.”

You have seen (or heard?) it for yourself…

I’m so fed up with scripting problems arising from the templates I have previously downloaded for my blog, such that I have decided to revert to the simple ones pre-made for Blogger.

Who cares if the layout is plain and simple, it’s the text that counts, right?

SBS
= Super Bad Service
Due to
Sloppy, Broken-down Schedules

I am super bus – I mean, pissed – with SBS Transit.

This afternoon I am at Mr Tan Chan Boon’s house in Bishan to deliver the typed score for his First String Quartet. Four-thirty I leave the house to take no. 52 to Sunset Way, where I will then change to 151 to get to the heart of NUS. I should be in time for my lecture which begins at 6pm. I may even arrive slightly earlier so that I may grab my German textbook before class.

4:30pm : I leave the house
4:45pm: I am at the bus-stop where 52 bypasses
5:15pm: No sign of 52 AT ALL! Other services – 88, 54, 13 et cetera have gone by me countless times! NO 52 AT ALL! Fed up with waiting (and almost running late) I hop on to 88, headed for Ang Mo Kio MRT Station.
5:30pm: The train passes Khatib. I’ll be terribly late if I wait for the train to bring me on a joyride around Woodlands to Jurong East, where I intend to take a cab. I get off at Khatib instead and hail a cab.
6:00pm: The cab arrives at NUS. The fare costs $17.00. BLOODY SEVENTEEN BUCKS.

And I am slightly late for class.

I HAVE TO PAY SEVENTEEN BUCKS JUST BECAUSE THE STUPID BUS DIDN’T COME.

* * *

I’m sure I found the classroom for my German lecture.

I enter the classroom – and here is this guy talking in German to everybody.

I think this is some higher-level German class – maybe I’ll just sit in and wait for the lecturer to finish. I believe this guy teaching is my lecturer because he is supposed to be a GUY and an Asian, according to the website.

Ten minutes past seven. No signs of stopping. I begin to worry I’m in the wrong class. I feel like getting up and leaving… No… I decide to stay… too embarrassing to walk out now… the class will think I’m nuts… come in to the classroom, sit there speechless for 15 minutes, then suddenly walk out after apologising profusely for being in the wrong class.

I look at the teacher’s table (I am sitting close there). Notes on administrative matters. This has to be my class I think.

Finally the teacher speaks in English. *Whew* I am in the right class after all.

First day of school for me, and I’m in a mess.

Sasi and I meet at Harbourfront at 9:40am, intending to take SBS Service 10 to Kent Ridge Terminal, which is just below our faculty building. We have a lecture – Communications and New Media – at 10:00am.

We wait for the bus.

And the bus has to arrive at 10:00am.

We contemplate to go to lecture or not. It’s not nice being late, because the lecture theatre fills up from the back to the front – everybody seems to presume that those sitting in the front will be noticed more easily by the lecturers – and the last thing we want is to be blacklisted by the professors for being late for our first lecture. Even if that doesn’t occur, we don’t want to give them a bad first impression. And it is damn embarrassing to be the only two walking down the steps in front of something like 400-plus people to our seats at the front of the theatre?!

Anyway first lectures aren’t as important as the subsequent ones – we admonish our guilt.

And to make ourselves feel better, we decide to stake out at the Central Library and do our own readings for New Media.

* * *

I didn’t go for History lecture in the afternoon too.

OH SHIT I FORGOT TO TRANSFER THE COUNTER TO THE NEW BLOG!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Now I have to start from zero again... wtf...

"This is a test post"

"" -- -- 1st

I have decided to change skins because the previous one has been giving me problems with the script.

Anybody knows how I can align the text such that they fit within the border nicely? Much appreciated!